Bahstun! The Final Post

21 Mar

So here it is, my friends. The final part of my overly-long blog series on my trip to Boston. I thought about writing about the remaining attractions but I can sum it up as follows:

Harvard’s Natural History Museum has the best collection of dead animals I have ever seen and they’re all comical.

Going up to the top of the Prudential Centre led to a breathtaking view over the whole of Boston and some hilarious immigration-based things.

So, time to briefly round up everything else that caught my attention:

Boston is the friendliest place I have ever been. Seriously. A city full of people that hold open doors for people carrying heavy objects, chatting to folks, and moving bags so people can sit down on the trams. It was heaven. Speaking of which, the tram system is very easy to use and cheap.

Architecturally, Boston is amazing. It evokes the kind of feeling that you got as a little kid when visiting a big city: brilliant buildings, even better skyscrapers. Think about when you went to London when you were around seven years old – it’s like that. Except it doesn’t smell of shit, it’s not covered in vomit, and the people aren’t incredibly rude all the time.

Our hotel was super cool. Hotel 140 in Boston’s Back Bay, great location, decent room, friendly staff, and they even made a little rose out of toilet paper every time they cleaned the room.


American TV is bloody brilliant. When we were watching the tellybox, it was primarily Animal Planet. An hour-long show called Too Cute that is made up entirely of wide-angle-lensed footage of baby animals? My Cat From Hell, where a tattooed musician tackles evil devil-cats in lovely suburban homes? Finding Bigfoot by running around woods shouting and setting off flares? Oh sweet lord I have found perfection.

Added to that, American sports are boss. Ice Hockey is the greatest thing to ever exist. I actually am now taking an active interest in it, as opposed to just enjoying playing video games like Mutant League Hockey on the Sega Mega Drive. The time zone difference also means that it’s pretty easy to watch ol’ British sports as well. I woke up in the morning, and with breakfast was able to watch Liverpool lose to Arsenal.

There is a beautiful array of tat to buy if you look hard enough. Have you ever thought ‘I would really like a shirt with some coffins and The Boston Massacre written on it’? How about a massive quilt based around the constitution? A mug with Michelle Obama flexing her arms? A plush lobster holding a sign that says ‘say no to pot’? Or maybe a dog coat with ‘I bite New Yorkers’ written on it? If you have, then this is the place for you.

Shopping, in general, is very nice. For those of you who aren’t well-versed in American shopping, Head to Marshall’s to buy cheap clothes. Being a horrible tourist, I needed to buy some souvenirs based around Boston sports, so got myself a Bruins hoodie with four-leaf clovers on it and a somewhat more subtle Red Sox t-shirt.

Newbury Comics is a very cool shop and I highly recommend it. There are two shops in Boston – one on Newbury Street, and another one in Quincy Market. Interestingly, I’ve been to much better comic shops over the years. But, go there to buy awesome music, geek culture thingamibobs, t-shirts, and epic hats.

I am almost as cool as this kid.

Finally, everywhere has its flaws. For me, the main flaw was that Adele was friggin’ everywhere. Possibly even more so than the UK. If it was possible, I think she could run for President and give Obama a run for his money. Would probably do better than Mitt Romney.

And that is where I will leave it. I had an awesome time – the best holiday I have been on and certainly the most interesting city I have been to. I’ve actually taken interest in applying for PhDs in Boston, because of the sheer quality of higher education there (not just Harvard, but MIT, Northeastern, Boston U, Berkelee College of Music, and countless more) and because it is such a great place to be. So, if you have the chance, go there. If not for the culture side of things, go for the chance to drink Mountain Dew, eat Nerds and Lucky Stars, and hear people talk in the most epic accent ever.

The giant, golden bosom beckons you to Boston!


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