Bahstun! Food: Part Two

11 Mar

When I left you, I had discussed the wonders of Burger King Dinner and the virtues of having a girlfriend who chooses ridiculously huge meals.

For our second day, I felt the need to up the ante and bust out some real American treats. For breakfast, a donut – a chocolate-glazed wonder that either looked like a pressure-cooked and concentrated chocolate éclair or a turd that had been frozen in the Antarctic for seventeen years. Either way, it was delicious. I followed it up with a Twinkie. It hurt my insides. It might still be there, plotting its revenge.

Creamy evil

They're the Liam Neeson of the snack world: they will find you, and they will kill you. Also punch wolves with broken glass.

With the power of sugar and fructose corn syrup behind me, we set off to the Museum of Fine Arts. The museum was fantastic, but alas the food there wasn’t quite within the measly budget of ‘recent graduate who is saving money to buy a hideous Boston Bruins hoodie’.

So, we set off from the museum halfway through the exhibits, and went out in search of lunch. I see myself as a hunter-gatherer, but one who prefers his spoils to be handed to him over a counter in exchange for some paper and circular pieces of metal.

We found a wonderful little pizzeria-cum-sub-shop called Il Mondo, on Huntington Avenue. My sub sandwich was the size of a toddler’s leg. For a small amount of money, I got enough food to feed a family of five for a week. Not only that, but it was delicious. I went for the standard – a meatball sub with cheese and marinara sauce. Other than the embarrassment of getting tomato all down the front of my coat (whoops), there were no flaws.


Me, following a delicious meatball-based lunch.

After our museum adventure was over (and many immature comments were made), we returned to central Boston. After a break to watch some excellent American television – more on that in a later post – it was time to get dinner. Wendy’s was on the agenda.

So, a challenge was set. Value menu only. I went for a Cheesy Cheddarburger, Crispy Chicken Sandwich, Value Fries, and a Small Shake. Each of the items was at a measly ₵99. Wendy’s fries were not so good – overcooked and not very flavoursome. However, each of the burgers was damn fine, and the shake was so thick that it could have been used in place of cement. It was also delicious and chocolatey.

Can I Has Cheezburger?

Yo dawg, I heard you like cheese with your cheeseburger so I...

The dame/girlfriend decided to go for a coke float and some chilli. Both were rather darn good, although the chilli could have done with a bit more spice. Wendy’s also wins because of the sheer friendliness of the guy serving.

Over our fine dining, we watched Americans and Canucks beat each other up on ice, in what is known as ‘NHL’. It was marvellous. And, sated, we went to sleep, dreaming of those mysterious items called vegetables.


2 Responses to “Bahstun! Food: Part Two”

  1. maryfollowsthelamb March 11, 2012 at 7:36 pm #

    …love the last line!

    • Rob Gordon March 11, 2012 at 7:40 pm #

      Thanks! I’m looking forward to posting up the rest of my food exploits – and everything else as well!

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